Getting Out

Getting Out

That year we hardly slept, walking like inmates
who beat the walls. Every night
another refusal, the silent work
of tightening the heart.
Exhausted, we gave up; escaped
to the apartment pool, swimming those laps
until the first light relieved us.

Days were different: FM and full-blast
blues, hours of guitar "you gonna miss me
when I'm gone." Think how you tried
to pack up and go, for weeks stumbling
over piles of clothing, the unstrung tennis rackets.
Finally locked into blame, we paced
that short hall, heaving words like furniture.

I have the last unshredded pictures
of our matching eyes and hair. We've kept
to separate sides of the map,
still I'm startled by men who look like you.
And in the yearly letter, you're sure to say
you're happy now. Yet I think of the lawyer's bewilderment
when we cried, the last day. Taking hands
we walked apart, until our arms stretched
between us. We held on tight, and let go.

By Cleopatra Mathis

The poem is very sincere. Every line shows a sense of regret and frustration over how the speaker cannot seem to find peace in her marriage, both during and after. Because marriage is a holy alliance between a man and a woman and binds them for eternity, the speaker describes it as being in a prison. She says that they "hardly slept, walking like inmates/ who beat the walls" (1-2). The couple is stuck in a prison where every night, they try to struggle to escape the marriage. For the poem, the way the speaker ends the first line is significant because it emphasizes the comparison between themselves and prisoners. The process of the decline of marriage is described in the stanzas, and for the first stanza, the speaker illustrates the many attempts of how "every night", the couple fail in giving up their pride to please the other and in the end, seek comfort at the pool to relieve stress. The latter half of the second stanza speaks of how the marriage is "stumbling/ over piles of clothing, the unstrung tennis rackets" (11-12). The causal items of clothes, tennis rackets, and furniture show how the fights and frustration has been built upon minuscule topics. It was not an affair, money problem, or faulty behavior that deteriorated their marriage. However, maybe because the problems did not arise from such heavy matters, the speaker realizes how difficult it is to rectify their marriage. Even after their separation, the speaker still cannot forget about her husband and is constantly reminded of his presence, "still I'm startled by men who look like you" (19). I think the speaker is doubtful of herself and him in trying act as if they were "happy now". She remembers the day that they had to seek the lawyer to put an end to their marriage. The fact that the speaker says the lawyer was bewildered due to their erupted sadness. The last three lines are very ironic and emphasizes both their willingness and unwillingness to let go of each other. Even though they did feel like prisoners, the marriage has not been just a hundred percent full of imperfections. Therefore, there has to be some lingering feelings, where they "taking hands/ we walked apart, until our arms stretched between us. We held on tight, and let go" (21-23). The image provoked by these lines show how the tightly linked hands let go or gave up for them to go their separate ways.

I really liked this poem because it describes the reality in many marriages. Even though people marry for love and believe that they will always be their for each other, the love dies down. The more you love a person, it is difficult to continue that relationship and the love becomes an unimportant element in one's life. Because there are temptations and people tire of old things, many marriages disintegrate when not given the care it needs. I just hope that my friends and myself, when we find a time in our lives to marry, we will not have to suffer the hardship of a divorce.